"As a black woman who works in tech and sports, I'm pretty used to being in environments where being non-white isn't exactly considered an asset.
I'm sure the dating world online isn't any different," she says, citing how when she made a Bumble app for a similarly pretty white friend, her friend was "inundated" with way more matches than Sarah had gotten on the app.
An oft-cited Ok Cupid study from 2014 backs this up.
"Eighty-two percent of non-black men on Ok Cupid show some bias against black women," Christian Rudder, co-founder of Ok Cupid, wrote in a blog post analyzing the data.
Of course, women of all races have to deal with BS online. But women of color lack that extra race-based privilege, which can cause some mind-bogglingly stupid reactions from people in the online dating world."As a plus-size black woman attempting to find a suitable mate or at least a date, the results can be pretty sad," Christian S., 30, a Dallas, Texas-based fitness blogger and the creator of The Plush Cyclist, tells SELF.
She's tried out Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid, and
I felt objectified and grossed out." Jenny, who's tried Ok Cupid in addition to Tinder, has also experienced someone immediately trying to guess her ethnicity, which seems to be a pretty common experience for some women of color online. I just went to a Korean BBQ place.' I'm not Korean, and it's offensive to try to guess my ethnicity off the bat," she explains.
As you'll see, the "I'm going to assume or wonder if you're this ethnicity, then say something asinine about it" technique is clearly alive and well."Men have said dumb sh*t to me about Kama Sutra," Maya B., 25, a queer woman of desi descent who identifies as a first-generation American and second-generation Indian, tells SELF.
The clip is a great summary of so much annoying racial asshattery. All of the above isn't to say that race-related comments upset every woman who deals with them. Monica K., 26, an Asian woman in Baltimore, Maryland, hasn't come across these situations when online dating.
But guys have approached her in person to say things like, "I've never had an Asian before." "It's like I'm a Pokemon card," says Monica.
"I think in the age of swiping apps, there's less ability to overtly discriminate, but there is still a lot of preference for women who meet a certain look," she explains.