Spinsters guide to dating

A corollary of this argument is that relationships don’t last when the woman makes more money than the man.

Evolutionary biology dictates that men need to be the hunters: They need to be stronger, better, and more powerful than the woman to feel they have a place in the family.

For example, which do you think makes a better newspaper headline: Yes, the media likes to scare SWANS into believing that they have to choose between career and family, between being smart and being feminine.

Throughout my research, I’ve been privileged to meet hundreds of SWANS.

In New York, I met a young anesthesiologist who works out in a T-shirt that reads “Real Men Marry Doctors.” In Maryland, I met a painter who told me proudly about her first gallery opening.

The logic is that a woman who has her own money has more choices.

And if she’s not happy in her relationship, she can leave.

Throughout her 20s, she dated her college boyfriend, but after five years the relationship fizzled. “When I was younger my mother said, ‘Promise me you won’t get married before you turn 25,’ and then after I turned 25, I would hear, ‘Well, I opened the life section of the newspaper and I didn’t see your wedding announcement.’ ” With her recent move and new job, Christina was excited—but also nervous.

Like many SWANS, she wondered whether her decision to pursue her career was hurting her chances to find personal happiness with a man.

SWANS—Strong Women Achievers, No Spouse—are smart, successful women who have high hopes for their future.

Some SWANS have graduate degrees or earn high salaries, while others are working in creative fields or public service.

In Tucson, I met two black SWANS who inspire their community, one through motivational speaking in her Baptist church, and another by her work as the local “Diva Dentist.” But all these women have one thing in com­mon: They wonder why, in spite of all their success, they are still single. Do you cringe when you hear bad news in the media about your odds of marriage, or receive yet another forwarded email from a friend or a relative about how men are intimidated by smart women like you? This book will help you help them learn to find their own voice.5 – 9: You’re among the SWANS, and this is the perfect book to achieve your full potential.


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