We have been working with young single men in our capacities as educators, public figures and authors for more than 30 years.In that time, the most common question we’ve gotten from guys centers on how to increase their confidence with women.
While this is just a thought experiment, the facts that underpin it are very real. 166 pounds), and he carries less body fat (18 percent vs.
For Americans over age 20, the average man is five inches taller than the average woman (5’9″ vs. 24 percent), so he’s got about twice the upper-body strength (what he’d use to pick her up) and twice the grip strength (what he’d use to hold her down).
It’s that she’s trying to express interest from a defensive posture, and she’s got a hair-trigger threat-detection system that makes her withdraw into her shell when you start pushing too hard.
Maybe you really are the good guy who won’t take advantage of her, but she has no way of knowing that when she first meets you. Think about how weird that whole situation is: to be sexually attracted to beings that could so easily do irreparable physical harm to you.
On the other hand, this expectation has created in women the belief that most guys care only about a woman’s boob-to-ass-to-leg ratio, which is a recipe for resentment and distrust.
Here’s the thing, though: when women say, “Don’t objectify me,” they don’t mean “You’re never allowed to look at my boobs or notice my butt.” Actually, they kind of like their boobs and butts, and hope you do, too, if you’re a good guy and you : a savvy customer evaluating your products (traits) and ads (proofs) to see if they’ll add value to her life.
When a man interacts with a woman, his greatest fear is sexual rejection and humiliation.
This causes him to spend as much time and energy (if not more) on defensive strategies to protect against rejection as he does on mating strategies to attract women.
You haven’t even met them, but you can see the gears turning behind their eyes. But lo and behold, some of them are actually pretty intriguing.
Any one of them could grab you, carry you out of the bar and put who knows what God knows where, and there is little you could do to stop them. But there’s strength in numbers, so you and your friends gather whatever sober courage you can muster and head to the bar. Yes, they are still big and intimidating, but they want to buy you drinks and pay you compliments.
If you want to guarantee mating failure, all you have to do is think of her as nothing more than an inanimate object—as an “8” or a “9,” as a simplistic robot with a set of “triggers” and “hot buttons” to manipulate. You’re single, it’s Friday night after a long week and you’ve decided to go out and have some fun.