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We were fast “friends” after I told her she looked “dangerous” in her profile picture, in which she was holding a prop gun on what looked like a film set.Now I realize what I said was probably flirtatious, though I just mentioned it idiotically, and out of a lack of other conversation starters.For guys who love looking at pictures of girls in bikinis and frivolously casting a split-second judgment on them (guys like me, I mean), it came pretty close to being the greatest thing since sliced bread. Tinder is essentially a more relationship-centered, less meet-up-and-have-sex version of Grindr.

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I wasn’t that desperate, and losers met girls online. More often than not, this wasn’t the case, but in my first week on Tinder, I gained quite a few matches -- 20 or so.

Most I struck up charming conversations with, remarking on the gorgeous weather (it was 15 degrees that week) or making some bold, unfunny claim about their profile picture (I repeatedly asked a girl whose picture was her holding a baby why she listed her age at 23 when she wasn’t a lick of 23 days old.) Stupid jokes, obviously.

She attends the 7 PM Zumba class on Tuesday nights. No matter how coordinated you think you are, stick with something less, well, girly.

You think you can get her attention by signing up for the class. There's no reason for you to be shaking your ass to Beyonce on a Tuesday night surrounded by aerobicizing chicks.

So close to the action, I couldn't help but notice a few things about the pick-up scene on Muscle Beach. While the gym is a natural place to meet girls, here are a few friendly words of wisdom to those hoping to achieve pick-up-at-the-gym nirvana. Maybe, if you're really lucky, you'll even score two.

Rule #1: Never interrupt a girl's workout to introduce yourself.First of all, most girls take their workouts just as seriously as you do.Plus, girls are often self-conscious about how they look while they're working out.There’s a short bio, age and mutual friends listed, but who’s really paying attention to that stuff when your Tinder flame is wearing next to nothing on the beach?If you’re thinking about Tinder in a PG-13 sense, then, yeah, the two of you can “like” each other and have a conversation on the app.They don't want to be interrupted mid-run (sweating profusely, breathing heavily), mid-lunge (positioned awkwardly), or mid-lift (facially contorted) to respond to you. Girls don't want to get to know your package before they get to know you.

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