A woman’s response of “I have a boyfriend”, for example is taken as a challenge rather than as as soft no; PUAs are supposed to assume that this boyfriend is a fake and will mysteriously disappear when he’s demonstrated his higher value.In practice what happens is that you end up getting men who are demonstrating that they are poorly socially calibrated and uncomfortably aggressive – suggesting that not only are they going to be shit in bed, but they’re potentially dangerous.
To give an example, let’s look at the Pick-Up community.
Many – if not most – schools of pick-up teach an intimidatingly aggressive approach to getting sex, one that’s almost specifically designed to turn women off.
One of the oldest canards – something I’ve written about before, in fact – is the idea that women don’t like sex, especially casual sex, as much as men do.
It’s the subject of many a heated debate, the punchline to hacky comedians’ jokes and the background noise in movies and sitcoms since pretty much forever.
Baranowski and Hecht repeated the study with a minor change – adjusting the location from a college campus to the more socially correct nightclub.
By all reasonable measurements, this should have affected the results – after all, nightclubs and bars are locations where the social contract encourages approaching strangers and looking to hook up for the night.
During the study, they were presented with pictures of ten members of the opposite sex and told that – among other details – all ten of these individuals were interested in meeting up with them, either for a date or for sex. 100% of the men were down for meeting up with at least one of the pictured candidates for casual sex – no surprise there.
However of potential candidates that both men and women were willing to hook up with; men chose a little over three possible partners on average while women chose a little under three partners out of the ten.
Interestingly, the results were almost women were refusing casual sex.