A good man doesn’t want someone who’s stepping into his life so that person can walk all over him.3. A good man craves your attention, your genuine interest in his personal and professional life, your focus on him, and your eagerness to learn more about who he is and how he got to be that way.
And it’s not just your sexual attention or flirting that he desires.
Deserving something is different from feeling entitled to it. If he keeps a tidy house or apartment and doesn’t like dishes left on the table or laundry thrown on the floor, don’t make fun of his habits; respect the way he treats his home.
If he has activities he values that aren’t your cup of tea, don’t mock him for interests that may seem odd to you.
Good men whose behavior towards women is kind and respectful. Good men who hew to a code of morality and decent conduct in their personal and professional lives. The young cashier at the supermarket who asks how your day is going.
We all have dirty laundry—things we regret in our past, dysfunctional family members, financial issues—and it’s crucial to be truthful about these from the start.
He’ll take care of you when you’re sick, hold your hand when you’re lonely, offer his shoulder and his handkerchief when you’re flooding with tears, and pick you up when you fall to pieces, but he wants you to have your psychological act together before he gets serious with you.1. He doesn’t like drama or the conflict that inevitably accompanies it. If you’re dating and he calls you, he expects you to answer if you’re available or call him back promptly if you’re not.
He’s worked hard to achieve a peaceful rhythm in his life. If he texts you, he’s looking for a response, not a waiting game.
He’s trying to build a future and a legacy, and he doesn’t have time for an endless soap opera. Should I disappear for a few days to make him want me more? And if you test him in a dishonest or disingenuous way or try to set a trap for him, he will immediately discern that you’re a game player.
If your cat needs to go to the vet at a.m., he’ll show up and drive you. Throw out every single bit of dating advice from the magazine articles. Relationships are about trust for him, and while he understands that trust is earned, he also knows that it doesn’t need to be constantly proven.3. If you’ve survived any type of victimization, a good man will help you heal.
But if your friend the alcoholic or addict needs to be picked up—again—and brought home to detox or taken to the emergency room, you’ll find yourself on your own.2. But if your shtick is that you’re always the victim in every interaction you have, that everything that happens to you is someone else’s fault, you can forget snagging a good man right now.
Because he knows that eventually he’ll be the one you’re blaming.
And if he draws a boundary—around his time, his money, his family, or his degree of emotional involvement with you—respect it.