Simply ask your questions respectfully, so it is not regarded as prying but as a genuine interest in the deceased spouse and their relationship.
If you pay close attention, you actually may learn many interesting things about your new partner, for example: how he/she views the world; how he/she treats a partner; likes and dislikes, etc.
If you are dating or planning to marry a widow or widower, here are some suggestions and thoughts to consider.
DEALING WITH CHILDREN OF A NEW PARTNER This is probably one of the toughest issues to overcome.
Daughters tend to cling to Dad and sons are big on being the man around the house for their moms.
The house should not remain a shrine to the late spouse, but there may be some special keepsakes that hold sentimental value or children may want something of their mother or father to remain in the home.
Try to be cognizant of these facts and not insist that everything that belonged to the late spouse be disposed of.
Know what to expect on anniversaries, birthdays and other days that were special to your new partner and his/her late spouse.
Being aware and understanding about another person's feelings allows you to be gracious and sensitive to your new partner.Keep in mind that the heart is a very accommodating organ.It can expand to let new people in without kicking out the old residents.Rather than demanding that all the pictures be put away, you might want to have a heart-to-heart discussion about how they make you feel.Without being put on the defensive, your new partner, wanting to please you, will probably try to be accommodating. MOVING INTO A HOME SHARED WITH A LATE SPOUSE If there are no financial concerns and this situation can be avoided, it would probably be best to move to a new home - one where you can both make a fresh start and it can be yours together.A late spouse was most probably a very big part of your new partner's life and to get upset every time his/her name is mentioned makes for a very uncomfortable situation - for both of you.