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  He and Ilaunched into a long conversation about the term. I felt perfectly comfortable hanging out with my Zim boyfriend, but, I noticed when we would walk into Primi Piatti in Rosebank or News Cafe in Rivonia, people would stare.

They were quick ones to be sure but there nonetheless.

It was here that I was first called “colored”, not a person of color but just plain old colored like the Jim Crow water fountain signs.

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While I will always identify as black, of African descent, it doesn’t mean my date has to accept it.

Years ago, I went to a party with my friend’s brother in Pretoria where everyone was Xhosa, Swazi, or Zimbabwean.

When overseas and having more than a perfunctory conversation with men, the topic of citizenship will always arise.

Across Africa, when speaking with European men, I encounter the mentality that I as an American am more one of them (Euro) than(locals).

“ He was nervous, I don’t know if he thought I would have three breasts or my ass would be magic,” one dark skinned model recalls about a Danish man she met in the UK.

Recently in an Ok Africa piece aboutbeing black in South Korea, 26-year-old Regina states, “ It’s nice to stand out in the Korean dating scene but it feels terrible to be fetishized.” This may seem shallow but we live in a visual society, just look at how Instagram and Snap Chat took over the social media space.For them, a woman wearing athleisure wear is coming from the gym not going out on even a casual date.If this is the type of man you are trying to attract leave the yoga pants at the studio and the cheap shoes at the discount store.This is a topic which surfaces in many of the articles about Black expats.Men and women face it—it’s something you have to accept.Sure, there are many other situation-specific issues one will encounter but these overarching themes, I have seen played out in my own experiences and those of my friends.  This is a topic which surfaces in many of the articles about  Black expats.

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