"Early on, they're really charming, but there's always a flaw in what they're saying or an excuse for really small things that wouldn't require someone to have an excuse," she said.
"So, they might not tell you exactly who their friends are, or they might say they have an important job, but they won't tell you the details." Since sociopaths are trying to figure out how they can use people, she said, "they're getting more information than they're giving.
"Psychopaths take what they want when they want it and justify it based on random rules that they themselves have set up."Sociopaths tend to be inattentive to their love interests' boundaries, Nance confirmed.
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"Sociopaths actually get off on hurting other people," Strohman explained.
In other words, a jerk might lie to you because they're too cowardly to tell you the truth, but a sociopath will do it just to see if they can get away with it.
Nance has had several patients who were dating sociopaths, and almost all have told her, "At first, I thought this was too good to be true."From a sociopath's perspective, other people are just codes to be cracked.
To illustrate the coldness with which sociopaths approach their romantic prospects, Strohman said her antisocial personality disorder patients have had dating rules like "if she shows up wearing red, then we'll have sex that night.""They're not taking into consideration whether that woman wants to have sex with them," she said.
They like to talk, but they can't necessarily talk about themselves all that well."Even if you'd let a sociopath borrow five dollars from you, they'd rather steal it, said Nance.
While a regular asshole may manipulate others to get something they want, sociopaths do it for its own sake.
And one narcissistic quality that might become evident when you're dating someone is that they need everyone's affection and approval, not just yours.
Nance said you can sometimes spot a sociopath by the way they move through a crowd, chatting everyone up along the way.
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Today he makes me wanna go, makes me feel like he doesn't give a shit about my feelings, always decides on what and when we do things, made me cry in our last argument, after which did nothing to console me. Once I got my things to go and he said he was sorry and begged me to give him a chance, but then he only became worse, in less than a week, in other aspects.
It all started as something special and really good.